Four Years of Kitchen-Inspirational – My List of 12: “Who Would You Most Like to Invite to Dinner”

  

What have I learned?

Wow, I can hardly believe that the very first post I wrote for this blog was on 3/26/12.  576 posts published and 587 drafts in hold.   Jeepers, that sure went by quickly – and illustrates just how very quickly time flies by, seemingly exponentially when you’re in this particular “time of your life.”  It’s the equivalent of one’s college years for goodness sake!  And, we all remember how quickly that went by!

Which brings me to today’s topic.  I want to celebrate four years of my own little personal creative outlet here – as supplemented by my forever-blossoming passion for photography, cooking and baking and traveling.  This seems apropos at this marker point on my blog, in my life, as my 62nd birthday rapidly approaches and is considered one of those prime ages for “retirement” and for a clear-eyed consideration of the value of time.

I wanted to call this post “How Not to Settle into Middle Age.”  But, most people would consider me to be past middle age, maybe well so.  What is middle age anyway?  I’m totally NOT into time markers as regards age and attitude – and so, the post.  It is half your life expectancy?  Is it when your kids leave the nest?  Is it your 40s?  Is it a meaningful marker of anything?  And anyway, that seemed like more of a little downer – not really how I was feeling about this milestone.

The passage of time is a thought provoking thing.  Bottom line is, either you use it or lose it.  It’s the same for your body and your brain and your creativity.  These are all part and parcel of the major- league gifts of your life.  And yet, what happens when people perceive this time of your lifetime as a time to slow down?  I wonder why this is and have spent an inordinate amount of time “studying around”.  I haven’t done anything scientific, although I’d like to.  Let me just say that I’m not applying any value judgments here for anyone who is perfectly happy slowing down and settling in.  I’m just looking out for myself and sharing for anyone who may feel similarly to me.

I have settled on these few reasons why people “settle into” their sixties and beyond:

1. they are tired, drained and depleted from doing what they have done since they went into the work force and just feel like veg-ing.
2. their primary sense of purpose and ego-identification has fizzled out, naturally expired and/or they’re caught unprepared and are looking for another substantive raison d’etre
3. they use the model of their parents lives, as an unconscious model for themselves (well my Dad retired and played golf for the last 30 years of his life so I guess that’s what I should do kind of thinking)  Don’t get me wrong – if this is your choice and it makes you happy then it’s all good – it’s if you choose this by default then it’s another story
4. they have never had the opportunity to think about what they’d really like to do with their time and how to get to doing it

This topic of conversation has been a theme of a few posts on my blog over the last 4 years.  Back in the beginning, when I considered what to attach as a label to this blog, I looked at what some others had done.  Some are called “Personal Blogs”, some are “Lifestyle Blogs”  some are tagged with the major themes which occur in them – in this case, Food, Garden, Travel.   I guess mine is an amalgam of them all.  As I write I’m talking to myself as much as I’m talking to whoever might choose to read this.  It’s all good for someone like me, for writing is one of the four primary ways I echo myself back in the mirror.

Yesterday, I happened to get into a conversation with a friend about female mentors.  Our conversation became quite poignant.  It began by my mentioning a post I’d seen on fb about a 9 year old girl who negotiated shelf space in Whole Foods for her Lemonade product.  Here was a child who was able to achieve something many, many adults can’t for various reasons.  But, what first came into my mind was that kids often can achieve a lot more before the world outside or their own support system or lack thereof puts up all the barriers.  Hmmm, I said to myself.  There’s something here.  When I thought, if ever is age a barrier or a factor in accomplishment?  I wanted to explore this question.

Anyway, then we got to talking about how much I admire Gloria Steinem – about how she seems to just be able to blow through all sorts of obstacles and has for a very long time.  My friend asked me if I knew about her Mother and her Grandmother.  I said no, not really.  She said they were both extraordinary women who encouraged Gloria and created an environment for her to feel free to do what she’s done.  This got me to thinking about how often we are unconsciously biased by our parents’ model and haven’t been made free to break away from it.  This, I have found, is a very important idea to think about.  When I hear some people I know talk about their aging experience I wonder why they seemingly automatically think they are in the last few years of their lives when there is nothing wrong with them.  It’s all in their heads is what I can see, but they can’t.  This, I find to be very perplexing.

As we talked about Gloria’s Mother my friend interjected her opinion as to how hard it is to get past one’s mother in your psyche.  This was especially thought-provoking for me.  This was an idea I hadn’t thought about before.  How often are we unconsciously limited by our Mothers?  I’m not suggesting that this is something they intentionally do to us, although there are some mothers who do create a world view that is very limiting and encouraging to be conventional in their approach to life.  Wow, I thought, this could be a potentially powerful thing!

Then, I said to myself, I have learned that there are people who don’t seem limited by any of these things, regardless of their time of living, their cultural situation and their age.  Hmmmm…….

And, I want to be one of them.   And so, I settled on the title above instead – a little more intellectually provocative and enjoyable.

But, it’s not as easy as just making up your mind is it?  By way of thinking about this, I look around the landscape.  What I learned yesterday is that you can’t assume anything about those people who achieve great things and blow through barriers – you really can’t compare them to yourself.  Like on my list, in addition to Gloria, is Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Alice Waters, Julia Child, Golda Meir, Benazir Bhutto, Sylvia Weinstock, Margaret Thatcher, Joan of Arc, Catherine de’ Medici, Catherine the Great and Cleopatra.  Yup, that’s my list of “who would you most like to have dinner with”.   I have a few more of contemporary nature but I wanted to limit my list to 12.  I may not agree with all of their philosophies and some of their actions, but each has some very venerable teachable moments and accomplishments to share, discuss and otherwise examine, turn over, and relate.  Some can even be considered timeless in nature, as contemporary in their own day as for today.  And some are still burning it up and can impart much wisdom and example for all current generations, from pre-pubescent (as is the Lemonade entrepreneur) to mine and forward.

So, wow, wouldn’t that be a hoot?  And, what could I learn from each and every one of them?  Would they all have some common central personality characteristics?  What would we talk about?  What questions would I ask each of them?  What were each of their Mothers like? Wouldn’t this gaggle be the greatest?  How long could I keep them all in a room?  Wouldn’t we have to have a retreat – like for at least a couple of weeks?

So, the reason for my choosing this group is fairly obvious – but I wanted to consider the age at which they passed for those who have, and the current age for those still vitally alive:

GUEST LIST – A Great “Picture” on Age, Accomplishment and Vitality

Age at which they passed:                                                Present Age:

Joan of Arc -19                                                                   Alice Waters  – 71

Cleopatra – 39                                                                    Gloria Steinem – 82

Benazir Bhutto – 54                                                           Ruth Bader Ginsburg – 83

Catherine the Great – 67                                                  Sylvia Weinstock – 86

Catherine de’Medici – 69

Gold Meir – 80

Margaret Thatcher – 87

Julia Child – 91

Well, as I blow through my 4 year marker of writing on Kitchen-Inspirational, I will keep all of these people in my heart, mind and soul.  They are my mentors.  They are the people who inspire me.  They are the people whose work and outlook will continue to help me grow and thrive.  I’m committed to learning more about them.  Some of them overcame extreme obstacles to achieve what they have – and some of them, like the little girl yesterday, at a very early age.  Some had mentors and encouragement and completely supportive environments within which to grow and do and some didn’t.  Some of them came into their own much later in life – like Julia Child, ironically the oldest of the group.  I myself, would like to learn all I can from them and reflect what I can learn in my outlook, in all that inspires me and on the pages of this blog.

Now, I shall go on to try to design a menu for this most special occasion.  The venue?  Right there in that picture above.  🙂  That would be pretty central for everyone, no?

A bientôt!  And, thank you again to Bill Wraith for his patience, generosity and support!  Without him, I’d be scribbling on a yellow pad.