Grand Central Station as seen coming uptown yesterday
Life is like standing on a busy street corner in New York City. Some days you can stand, wait and cross without any issues, feeling centered, unfettered and even serene, optimistic and open. The sun may shine ceremoniously upon your face and warm you, the intensity and multi-layered predicaments all around you perceptively at bay. Other days, there is bumping, pushing and the sensation of near chaos. Still, on other days, you’ll get splashed by a careening cab or screamed at by an irate passer-by, causing a sudden, albeit temporary re-coil from the assaults and profanity of the real world. Then, you’ll shake your head, collect yourself and move on.
Where does each and every one of us go for answers, solace, and most importantly for inspiration, faith and hope? Many a day, I go outside, especially at this time of year. But, last night as I sat inside and contemplated how I could have, just a few minutes earlier, gone out and cut a mass quantity of peonies before the deluge began and left them unsalvageable, I said to myself, “why didn’t I think to do this, just five minutes ago?” I had let myself just go along. And, in this thought I realized such a strong thing, that just letting yourself go along is almost always not a good idea.
the aftermath
The other place I go is to the oven. This is the place where, 365 days a year, in Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, I can go to seek some calm, wisdom, self-knowledge, awakening and a sense of accomplishment. Baking is my I Ching.
Today, I had 4 very overripe bananas sitting in the bowl and they became my solace. What should and could I do with these. Being that banana bread is a huge comfort food for me, I decided to make a Banana Blueberry Bread from a blog post I had found. In my distraction, I forgot to add some of the ingredients I had intended and oh well, this was just a reflection on my state of mind. I had wanted a good cup of walnuts or pecans and some dried cranberries as well. But, this will have to be saved for next time.
Here is the post: http://www.crazyforcrust.com/2015/04/cinnamon-sugar-blueberry-banana-bread/
Here is my adaptation:
Blueberry/Cranberry Banana Bread with Toasted Pecans
2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cups sugar
2 eggs, room temp
2/3 cup plain greek yogurt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp baking soda
2 overripe bananas, mashed
2 cups fresh blueberries or 1 cup blueberries and 1 cup dried cranberries(unsugared if possible)
1 cup toasted walnuts or pecans, rough chopped and cooled
1/2 cup sugar blended with 1 tsp cinnamon
Preheat oven to 375F. Line a bread pan with butter and dust with sugar. Set aside.
In the bowl of electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream butter. Add 3/4 cups sugar and blend.
In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, bananas, vanilla, baking soda and yogurt. In another bowl, whisk together the flour, nutmeg, and salt.
Add half the wet ingredients to the butter/sugar mixture and mix on medium low speed. Add half the flour mixture and blend just until the dry ingredients begin to disappear. Repeat with balance of wet and then dry. When the dry ingredients just begin to disappear, remove the bowl from the mixture and fold in the fruit and nuts. Scrape batter into prepared pan and sprinkle the cinnamon sugar on top – you don’t have to use it all if it looks like too much (I didn’t).
Bake for 45 -55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. Cool completely in the loaf pan. Then, dive right in.
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Today’s lesson is: Don’t expect too much of yourself when you are stressing about a loved one. Listen and learn what you can from the experience. Life is a balancing act – where hopefully more of the days allow for the stretching way out from the safety zone – especially on the joyful side.
And, I always feel better when I bake.
And, here is our beautiful loving, Kit as taken last week. We will hope and pray for the best for her.
