one clear picture: dried, dead, frigid, reluctant sun
I am officially in post-Christmas mode now. I am over all the little anxieties about getting everything ready in time, hoping everyone is happy with their day, presents and the food. Yesterday was a day of re-grouping for me – cleaning up the house mostly. Things look neater now. That’s good. So, all is calm, all is bright….. and I just heard the most glorious bird outside singing in the dawn. Of course, I couldn’t get a glimpse of it before it departed. I didn’t recognize the song and wanted to see who it was……..
So, now for the Except-part. Ok, bear with me. This is what happens to me. Just as I finish the day-to-day preparations for Christmas and review all the recipes, scope out all the possibilities, visit all my favorite food venues and stores and begin to really miss my weekly or more visits to the Farmer’s Market at Union Square, it happens – like a screeching halt – all the aura of the pre-Christmas imagining and planning evaporates and I immediately want to fast-forward to Spring. My enthusiasm, such as it was, as the daylight dwindled, day by day, is gone……. I’m mentally all-over Winter now, finished, ka-put, sayonara, see-ya, wrapped up, mailed out, bye-bye! The charms of the season, such as they were are finis! There is literally nothing there for me now in this barren and frigid period outside. I will crank at wearing a coat, getting into a freezing cold car, walking the dog with cold hands and head and ceaselessly and moronically begin to look outside for signs of Spring, only to tread to slightly after 3pm and the sun sinks down into the sky and I know again just how far off it is till the tides turn. Ugh, this is dread for me, the long road to life outside. This is now work, a definitive self-push forward, day by day – until I can walk out the door, sans-coat, socks, and wear the clothing of the live-season: shorts and flip flops……….
This morning I began a self-talking-to session. I said to myself: perhaps you can go outside with your camera and find the beauty in nature in the Winter-time. There is light, there are remnants of nature’s past season that I find intriguing – dried blossoms, and such. There can be interesting contrasts to their backdrops, there is something to be seen. I should try to find the interest there and make some work of it. And, there is still life in the kitchen……… I can try to feel heartened that the minutes of daylight are now on the increase. I can try to place myself in each and every additional moment in the afternoon (isn’t it more in the am? – I have to go back and read about this phenomenon.) George keeps telling me that by President’s Day I will feel totally better!? Well that’s only 6 weeks or so away….. What shall I do until then to keep myself from despair, and the counting down of the days till Spring?
I envy the people who love Winter, I do. I envy the people who can’t wait to don their skis, skates, snowshoes and the like and take to the outdoors, invigorated by the cold, wind, ice, snow, and aching jaws and ears…….. So, how to divert myself for this long period??????? Hmmmm……..
Ok, so I traipsed outside, down coat zipped up tight and tried to see….. It is 21F and the cold is raw and determined. I was lightened by the singing of the birds, that they are thriving in spite of the death-knell. I tried, I did:
My hope-hearted, half-hearted, somewhat cynical attempt at beauty this morning: Jaded, skeptical and daring, I hoped to see beauty and feel optimism, to be able to celebrate this time for what it is…… Ok, a little, I did, but do these compare to the awe that is their pinnacle? I think not. Do these lift me up? But, there is some life here and great contrasts in subject and their backdrop. Ok, I will acquiesce – there is beauty here, yes indeed, and optimistic hope of what shall come in the next season. And so, I say to myself, if these plants can be green and thrive in spite of the frigid temperatures and all the efforts to kill them off, well then, so can I………… And, I shall re-charge myself as the plants do, driving all my life down into my very roots and saving for springtime the needed energy for the new growing season………
do these compare to their blues and lavenders, all shadings of life?
the strawberries
the thyme
the roses
the holly 
the liriope
the winterberry, which never made it to its intended place, the mailbox, due to the snowstorm
the crabapple, shriveled
the rosemary
the Pee Gee
Winter-morning shadows
the saving grace: one LIVE bud, on Lillian Austin, December 27, 2013 – is there anything better than this affirmation?One trip through these recipes and I was re-heartened! Lots of great things to make here. Lots of fun to be had. Lots of indulgences for the remaining days of December and January, and……. Until May comes:(
Citrus, Glorious Citrus – and it’s myriad of applications. Here is color, and inspiring life on the palate:
http://www.epicurious.com/recipesmenus/slideshows/citrus-50121
(oh wow, I do realize this is a little bit scary :)) but, most importantly:
Thought for the Day: Writing is at the same time cleansing and filling……….